Clear Trust

Exhibition Healing Heart

Materials

References

Idea

Love that once felt safe — in which you believed you didn't need to protect yourself — became deadly, and soon the arrow will find the person who never even knew it had been aimed at them by someone you love. Having experienced it once in childhood, I lost the line between love and violence with others as an adult.

I invite you to walk through this path with me: become a witness to the pain and searching that I used to keep in silence, and to experience recovery and the creation of a new, safe space together.

Healing Heart is a memory and reflection on experiencing violence. This is a long journey that involves realizing the fact of violence, then sorrow, returning responsibility to the abuser, anger and helplessness, understanding, and creating the safe space to healing

Two parts of the victim collide in that moment — one; who already knows the abuser bears responsibility for the violence. The other — a victim who; regardless of whose responsibility it was — was hurt.

It would seem that once responsibility has been placed on the abuser; recovery is just a little further. But then a mirror appears; one that can become an endless labyrinth on the path to healing. That dialogue with yourself again confronts you with questions:

The Dialogue

While others simply lived, I was hiding pain and shame, a feeling of worthlessness. The heaviest burden was the certainty that I deserve exactly this.

Only after time, after recognising the act of violence, I can finally explain what feelings were haunting me for years.

Looking back; I can see how I literally crumbled under the weight of this pain and heaviness, which made me even more defenceless for a strike. In these moments, it is so easy to reshape and confuse; to crush and go unpunished. The hardest thing is to admit that even in this state, no one had the right to rearrange your pieces; even if they were already apart. No right to damage; whether physically or mentally. And now we are already there, ready to say to abuser:

Falling Apart

It will so want to hide; to anticipate the next blow — but that way it will keep wounding itself again and again. It is important to say: "I am here. I will always be with you so that you can feel; and I will be there if something like this happens again"

Everyone searches for their own quiet place. Mine turned out to be very close to where the violence was. I surrounded little Lizi with what she never had; and I was able to build my own warmth. Healing is a long path and sometimes it throws you back.

Recovery

In the dead end you can get stuck forever: turn to stone; freezee. It is so important to find warmth; to become the one who will accept even through the anger at yourself; which cannot disappear without a trace. To put the whole puzzle together — you have to speak with your resentment , helplessness; your anger to yourself and the abuser — and in that same moment; be your own support.

Together

Prepping

After

Before

Merch

The interactive project was left after the closing. These are the stories people decided to share — of their loss or shame on one side, and supportive dialogue on the other.