“My rituals are not about mysticism or religion, not about death or even rebirth. My ritual is about transition — a space like a path between the past and the future”

A personal story of experiencing a crisis and moving through it

Usually people ask gods to give them something; my ritual, however, was a way to give away. During a difficult time after the end of a four-year relationship, I finally felt that there were no feelings left and that I was ready to let this relationship go. It was important not to burn everything around me and leave only ashes, not to be reborn and start life from a blank page.

My goal was to pass through this experience, to merge with it, and to move forward in symbiosis.

I invited my girl friends; we collected grass, flowers, and berries and wove wreaths. Each of us had her own wreath, with her own intention of what to let go of. Someone said goodbye to a partner, a job, or fear. My wreath was a symbol and a metaphor of my relationship. I talked about the flowers I used, how the thorns cut me, how I wondered what it would look like. It was not a perfect creation, but I tried, and I can’t blame myself for this attempt. At one moment, I understood that I was crying over the flowers in my wreath that I had never had, and that was the right moment to let it go.

We all said goodbye and let them go into the lake. My way was a bit longer because I dived into the lake to feel this transition. Only your thoughts, your body, and everything around you — only you. And so the voices asking “why” grew quiet.

I did not become squeaky clean or empty; my present self didn’t die or get reborn. It was a transition, a dive — a few strokes and a return to the surface for a new, fresh breath. And I crossed it. I feel again that the air is fresh and fills my lungs.

My friends supported me, reminded me who I am. I found myself on the other side without longing, with self-understanding and awareness of my real choices.

rituals. My way of transformation